More mums more sweet, more dadies more sugar
WHY
The main property that differences us humans from the rest of species is our extended infantility, the much more time we take to become a self-sufficient organism.
Our slow maturation process implies very much energy needed to be invested by adults, specially by the mum. Matrifocality is the formal name for the relationship of a mother with her offspring. Nature could have evolved us men and women as similarly capable to care about our offspring, but it did not.
The maturing of offspring is more naturally assisted by women, in a process that starts very concentrated (the egg is much bigger and hoster than sperm) and goes getting dissipated as the offspring gets more mature (fetus is very hosted by women, breast feeding is too but less, …). Nature evolved us that way for conserving of the property of primarity within a bipolarity, where our dimorphism simplexly scales that variation in the more macro possible way.
Moms paedophilia OR kids gerontophilia, that is the question… AND, the reply
We very easily think that as mature adults we are more dominant than infants, babys, fetuses or zygots. Few people have considered the hipothesys of a dominant gerontophilic inteligence from the embryo-fetus-kid, that goes dissipating matrifocality as their-our evolutionary masterpiece.
We have to leave open the hypothesis of «less mature, more dominant», since it has a lot of outstanding evidences. While it sinks in, we could anyway keep considering us adults as dominants over the less mature ones. For them, this will just be distractory thread of us for them to remain in power better hidden (like language evolution also shows).
Zygot as mimesis of the genesis, last analogy and uthopy
We, specially as mature adults, match very much with others through what we call our values (andor culture). Our values are appeals to how we view the caring of parenting, either as a fictional symbolic analogy andor as a more real promissory readiness to commit for that.
What we call «Love» refers first to a «Love in a couple» and comes from and it’s a mediating – dissipated symbolism telling about how the woman will like to care her (possible future) kid. More simply said, a woman loves a man (andor anything else) as a projection of how she more really would like to give care to her offspring, and a man loves a woman (andor anything else) as her mum, grannies and wished couple, specially, have taught him to care about offspring, adding his own talents for that on the top of it, where also women learn further from.
The woman and man will play the game of loving each other more or less, where each one will be promising some protection and provision for the fictional kid andor future real offspring.
Some present and future children could already prefer more open, plural and collaborative settings for the caring of them
A kid is not only raised by a mum and a dad. There are also other possible related familiars and other kind of mates that could help the mum (couple…) for raising a kid.
This crowdparenting app wants to ease-explicit-formalise the potential contributions that many people could offer to the raising of an actual zygot, fetus, baby, kid, infant andor even for a future offspring, in exchange for her administrator mother letting the contributor to have some relation with the offspring, this way decreasing the high pressure of the big practical commitments that biological parents (specially mothers) should compromise themselves for raising a kid – having offspring.
Not everyone is ready to be a full time parent but everyone like to spend some or more time with kids. In the other side of things, parents could and should estate their limits into accepting other people relationings with their kids.
Overall, if we really think the more we could on behalf of the kid – offspring, we should more easily accept that kids like and want to be loved by many more people than just very much only or mostly by single moms, parents or other close familiars. Kids themselves like to be cared by many people.
The kid having more options for him-her having further relations with adults is a win-win for him-her, and will tend to consider father and mother to the ones who more regularly care about him-her. This is not a problem for the kid, but this is definetely a problem for some parents prides, specially for mothers.
Parents, specially Mothers, will argument that their quasi monopolistic way is offering the best protection and provision for the kid. But if we give a broader look at the situation, as explained above by focusing further in kid’s own interests, that is not completely correct.
So a more key question coming in is… Why are mothers, beyond necessary protection and provision, also so possesive with their kids? The reply to this question may be disliked by many… but a trulier fact we have to face is that women build up their very practical life privileges by collective lobbying for a more exclusive relationship with their offspring. So, we could expect many parents (specially grannies and mothers) to lobby against the crowdparenting way, because if crowdparenting would get more popular they may feel that as a threat for the privileges that they have got and get themselves through the high matrifocal culture they have developed. Also, as a yet more provocative evidence for this: Actual fathers and men lobbying against crowdparenting models will be doing their own mother’s dirty job as proxies.
There are many taboos about motherhood, that need better care. Mapatrifocality, the direct relationship of the parents with the kid hasn’t been valued enough in evolutionary biology and anthropology, and it’s fundamental to the very analized trends of mapatrilineality, mapatrilocality and matrilaterality.
Crowdparenting doesn’t want to deny nor imped nor lobby against any matrifocal practice. It only wants to provide another possible way of caring about offspring, that even the more monopolistic mothers could come to use partially for their own help. Crowdparenting is not opposing any view on parenting, it is just a tool to help you declare and relate your parenting ideals and wills, for women and men who want relating with kids to be able to do it more comfortably. The simple fact of face such declaration, promotes a culture of care and make us facing some depths of our values.
A very practical and close target wished by all, that a more popularized crowdparenting could bring is to very directly help orphans with many partial provisions that are denied to them by the sometimes overprotective conventional bureucracy.
The broader cultural impact that crowdparenting wants to bring is to decrease the «all-or-nothing, have it all or give it all into adoption» psicosocial pressure that women suffer, the female hypergamy towards men and the female intercompetition for that, derivated from the lack of a more open culture about matrifocality precisely, which is maintained by the more radical matrifocalities from women who try preserving the privileges of the provision and protection they get for themselves through their matrifocal practices. Radical matrifocality could still be a way, but it shouldn’t be the only way, nor we should bully others because of accidents or their different way of care.
Noone should forbid any real care for an offspring
WHAT
More part-time daddies and else microparentings for orphans and lonelies
And less artificial fertilization by sperm from completely anonymous men
Any women willing to have a kid wants to get a minimal or more protection and provision for the well growing up of her child. More clear information about it (I.e. grants beyond the ones already provided by laws) should help her more openly partake the having and rising of her child too.
Why do we do so many crowdfundings for projected material resources but we don’t replicate such models for the most valueable matter a child is?
It is not a pitty for anyone to say he wants to be only 10% or 1% father or mother of a child, nor for a couple of parents to tell they need a 10% more of parentship in whatever very strict way they want, nor for a woman to say she doesn’t want the biological father to be her fiancee or involve much in her relationship with the kid. We shouldn’t bully others about how they make their family. We have plenty of cases where populated and resourceful families have not taken good care of kids and others where non blood relatives have raised kids very well.
The CrowdParenting model is an easy form to fill up for declaring the promissory responsability anyone is ready to accept for the parenting of a child, whether the kid being already alive or yet to be born.
This crowdparenting initiative development basically depends on women willing to accept such deals. Also 1000 men could easily publish and join their commits for a basic completing of the raising of 10 kids, which should incentivate some women to open themselves up to them for that too.
HOW
- Link and improve the practices of organizations that offer the receiving of orphans to adults
- Incentivate existant parents to promote the shared care of their existing children
- Help existant childless couples to go for this way of crowdparenting
- Let any single persons to candidate and participate in custom parentship
See also
MyFamily regular trust
GenderWars tests